8 out of 10 cats ~ woohoo!

Joy, oh joy, 8 out of 10 cats is back. I couldn't find any reference to the new season and then suddenly I'm checking again and finding eight belly-laugh-worthy episodes waiting for me. Woohoo! I could use a good cackle.

(Remember to read these out loud in a British accent. It's better.)

Jimmy on Susan Boyle:
Yes this is the story that Susan Boyle came second in Britain's Got Talent. Or, as the Daily Mail reported it: a 48-year-old woman has been beaten by 11 youths from East London. There were 19 million witnesses and no-one's come forward: BROKEN BRITAIN!

Jack Whitehall on the British government expenses scam:
It did go properly extreme, though. When I opened the newspaper and read about the guy that claimed for a moat I thought, you better be the MP for Camelot!

Sean Locke on the same:
That duck island really annoyed me. I'll tell you why. Because it was a floating island. So that's not an island - it's a boat! Ducks don't need a boat - they can swim. That's like giving a ladder to a magpie!

Alex Zane on Obama's visit to the Middle East/Egypt:
He got a standing ovation at the University of Cairo and everyone's like, that was fantastic. But it was a university. It's not hard to get a standing ovation at a university. I got a standing ovation when I was at university for drinking a pint of vodka from a tennis shoe.

Jimmy Carr on the same:
Obama has pledged financial support for Egypt. I'm worried about where that money's going - it could be some kind of pyramid scheme.

10 out of 10 people like me enjoy 8 out of 10 cats

Ahhhh, so nice to have the new season of 8 Out of 10 Cats back to delight me. This line from host Jimmy Carr re Sarah Palin:

Sarah Palin brings beauty, enthusiasm and charm to a job that requires experience, integrity and common sense.

Very nice. My only problem with that sum-up is that I find her neither beautiful or charming, and enthusiastic about all the wrong things.

another humdinger from 8 out of 10 cats

After a story about how George W Bush's watch had been stolen while he was visiting Albania:

George Bush has stolen an election, invaded a country on false pretences, tortured, lied and not signed the Kyoto Agreement, but now...his watch has been stolen.

If you're watching, Karma...make an effort!

Oh and here's the video (thank you, Youtube!) of the my favourite insult post a bit back. I've watched all six seasons now (six episodes of about twenty minutes ~ it's not enough) so I'll stop babbling about 8 out of 10 cats until next year.



Another interesting conversation (transposed by me into direct speech) from Neil Gaiman's blog:

Neil: Hi, this is Neil Gaiman, I need to fix something on my account.
Visa Card Customer Service Rep: Hang on, are you the Neil Gaiman?
Neil: Yes, I am.
VCCSR: So...are you going to be writing an episode of Dr Who?
Neil: ... o_O?

I do wonder at what point this sort of stuff moves to the need for super-secret dealings. I know that authors don't pull the same kind of scrutiny that A-list actors do, though the man has quite the cult following, but when will he be so famous that he needs to ensure that the customer service reps he deals with have some kind of clearance? Does that come guaranteed with the Platinum card? I wonder...

tips for jobseekers

From an episode of 8 out of 10 cats, in a round called 'And the winner is...?' where the contestants are given an opinion poll topic and have to guess what came in at the top of the results:

Poll: Worst place to cry?

Dave Spikey: Is it from your ears?
Sean Lock: I would've thought it'd be in a photo-me booth, getting your passport photos done. Even time you enter a country you'd have to go... [pretends to cry]
Justin Moorhouse: Job interview?
Jimmy Carr: Correct answer, Justin. Yeah the worst place to cry is at a job interview, but in my experience it is definitely during sex...especially if the sex is during a job interview.

you gotta fat ass?

Comedian Reginald D Hunter, on 8 out of 10 cats:

RDH: I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, all that crazy stuff. It bugs me. It's international test day for a woman get to test how much her man love her. [Not sure how this follows on, but anyway...] For instance, I can't tell my lady if she got a fat ass. 'Cause you ain't supposed to tell a lady she got a fat ass, even if she ask you she gotta fat ass, you can't say she got a fat ass, even though she suspect she gotta fat ass. But I gotta lie, and subvert reality and pretend that she don't have a fat ass, when the reality, the reason I'm wid her, is because she got a fat ass.

Sean Lock: [points out the camera and says in his very British accent] You have just told her that she has a fat ass.

RDH: [waves] Hi baby! Happy Valentine's Day.

best insult i've heard this month

...comes from Sean Lock, one of the team leaders on 8 out of 10 cats, to host Jimmy Carr after Carr's extremely funny attempt to sound threatening, street style:

If you were in a gang, you'd be the treasurer.

Loving this show.