feeling rattled ~ the windows et moi
The carport at our place is open at the sides. The back has two large metal panels. One of them has come loose towards the middle and sits a little askew. Friday night the wind tore through our neighbourhood like a banshee warning of approaching death. This huge sheet of metal groaned with the strain on staying in place and the windows in the house shook. Sheet rain beat a heavy pattern on the house and made the wind icy the one time I ventured out. The last time the wind and rain swept through so loud and strong five huge trees fell, so it was a little scary to imagine what damage might occur.
Wild weather always makes me wonder about climate change. I've read that one of its effects will be more of the unpredictable weather that seems to have increased in the last decade. It's nice to feel like you're in control, like life will go steadily along if you just do your part. But the truth is that we have so little control over so many things. Weather is just one of them. Health is another obvious area where control would be nice, but any sense of real control is pretty much an illusion.
A young friend of mine has been driving recklessly lately, despite a horrible accident that left a close friend of hers with brain damage. He is still in hospital with huge challenges like impaired vision and many skills to relearn. She's been at the hospital so often over the last few months, and yet still she speeds and weaves in and out of traffic as is Fate had secretly given her a 'get out of death free' card. I just wish she could really understand that the reason more experienced drivers don't drive that way isn't because we can't. It's because we have the years of driving behind us to know just how little we have control of on the road. She is well able to handle the way she drives...as long as nothing unexpectedly goes wrong. The only thing she can control is herself and her own car, and even the latter is tenuous. She can't control other drivers, their cars, the composite effect of the traffic conditions, the kid who may run out, the kangaroo with a death wish, and so on.
Recently at work a couple of people were asked if they wanted to take a redundancy package. Generally that question has only one workable answer. Working for government often engenders a false sense of job security. I've been working really hard lately because of some personal goalsetting, but this situation made me even more determined to make sure that I have a good record at work. One of my friends is one of the people leaving and she was so thrown by it. It seemed like she had the next few years sorted and now she's looking for a new job.
I know life is uncertain and it's not something I worry about a lot. Until the windows rattle and I remember just how mere a mere mortal I am.