the bitch is...well, a little over-rated actually

I'd forgotten this story. I like this version because it's not all 'Christianed up' like the version you mostly see floating on the interwebs.

An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing. Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?" The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

Obvious really, but it doesn't stop people from feeding their anger and negativity until it consumes their better self.

I think I do this sometimes and it's just wasted energy. Recently I started working with a guy that is always calm. At first I found this kind of annoying, actually, because I mistook it for a lack of passion about things that matter. But as I've gotten to know him over the last few months I've realised that he doesn't lack feeling; it's more that if anger isn't going to change anything, he will only give limited energy to it. He is, however, quite insightful when it comes to solutions, and I think this is a result of him being calm enough to really apply his rationality to a problem.

This is a workplace. Things go wrong and management occasionally suck and there are any number of people ready to bitch about it. It's actually kind of nice to work with someone who doesn't always need to vent, even if this does throw my own impatience or irritation into sharper relief (embarrassing!) in the process. Maybe I'll become more zen as a result.

buffy vs edward

Attention Buffy & Twilight fans!!! This is easily the coolest pop culture vampire-related thing I've seen in months:



Beats all the fake New Moon trailers for sure. Must have taken ages to put together.

woohoo...sort of

The good news:

Thank you for your submission to FIRST 2009 [university anthology]. We received almost 200 pieces [around 35 make it in], the overall standard of which was impressive. We are very pleased to advise that your work Friends is under consideration for possible inclusion in this year's publication...

The bad news:

pending approval after some reworking.

I got the 'suggested edits' later that week and they basically gutted it. I sent a rework that incorporates most of their suggestions, but argues against a couple that I thought were a bad idea. If they're only interested in it with all the changes made then I'll pass. In that state it isn't the poem I wrote and I wouldn't want my name on it. But I can live with the rework I sent them.

In truth it changes what the poem is about; what I was trying to express when I wrote it. For that reason it's a little bitter sweet that it will be published in that form. I can't post the poem here as it has to remain unpublished until the anthology is released, but maybe at that time I'll post all three versions and you can tell me if you think their revisions were on the mark or not.

The other interesting thing is that I submitted five pieces (two poems and three stories) and the only one that made it in is also the only one that was created from a real personal experience. Unfortunately this means I should probably tell the other person concerned before the anthology is published. I didn't think there was any point in doing so before, because I didn't know if it would be accepted anyway. Telling him then might have given the impression that the poem was supposed to deliver some kind of message to him, but in fact the poem was not written for, or in any practical sense directed at, him. It was just my way of expressing for my own sake how I felt at the time.

Of course now it's six months later and my feelings are completely different, so it will be a bit weird to bring it up. But I do still like the poem and I'm happy for it to be in the anthology, even if the committee's edits have made the whole 'finally getting published' thing a bit anti-climatic. But you know, yah and all. :)

wish i'd been there

This is definitely my favourite Not Always Right post so far this year:

Pointless Paranoia, Meet Pistol Packin’
Movie Theater Rochester, NY, USA
(A young man asks for a ticket for an R-rated movie and hands me his ID. I’m about to sell him the ticket when the lady behind him speaks up.)

Lady: “Wait! That picture in the ID doesn’t look like him at all!”
(I look at the ID. It appears he’s been sick since the photo was taken, but it’s clearly the same guy.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m fairly certain that this is the correct ID. Now, if you’d just step up–”

Lady: “No! You can’t sell to someone with a fake ID. He could be a terrorist, for God’s sake! You should call the police!”

Me: “Ma’am, that is definitely not necessary. I am responsible for checking identification, and I–”
Lady: “I need to talk to your manager!”
(I begin to respond, but the guy politely waves me off and turns to the woman.)

Man: “Miss, I have another photo ID here, with a more recent picture. Do you think this matches?”
(He pulls a card out of his wallet and hands it to her. She goes completely white.)

Lady: “Well… um… yes, that’s, uh, fine!”
(She squirms for a moment, then exclaims, “I’ll be right back!” She drops the card and leaves the theater in a hurry. I give the guy his ticket.)

Me: “What was that you showed her?”

Man: “Oh, my handgun permit.”

in honour of the release

...of the New Moon trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXuN8hkQ0sU

I give you Meyer revenge...xkcd-style:

















I wish Stephenie Meyer was actually that cool.

blow-by-blow of the weekend

Friday night I saw Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past. The first half is quite funny, but the second errs on the side of sappiness. Still, better overall compared to my expectations on seeing the trailer. (Not however, inspiring enough for me to do a movie review.)

Saturday I hit the road in the new jalopy to head for Sydney for Good News Week and a catch-up with my ex-housemate, Phi. His girlfriend Hadid, who I met for the first time this weekend, is lovely. Seriously. I like her by herself and I like them together. I'm looking forward to going back and catching up sometime in a place where we can actually hear each other (restaurant was a bit noisy). It was good to catch up with Phi after so many months and see him in such a good place in his life.

As a whole the roadtrip was great, though being gridlocked in a multi-storey carpark for almost an hour is not on my list of things to do again. In fact it made me so late for the show that I didn't get in for the audience. (NB: the reason for the trip...aargh!!!) However, thanks to the kindness of no-longer-strangers I instead got to watch the show from the Greenroom backstage and therefore to also say a quick hello to the people on the show before I left. Nice. :) Still would have preferred to be in the audience with my friends, but not a bad second best.

I learned a lot about driving in Sydney, including how to get back if you accidentally get onto the road that takes you across the Sydney Harbour Bridge...oops. The car ran beautifully. Riding with Blueberry Boy (new Japanese homestay student, 21-years-old, been here a month, very carpe diem attitude, loves blueberries) was good - very easy and relaxed - but I'm really looking forward to the roadtrip back to Sydney with Dancer Boy in two weeks to see P!nk. My sister is going to the same concert so we'll be having dinner with her before the show. I seriously love having a car that I can go to Sydney (or the coast, or the snow if I use chains) in. Been a long time coming.

Speaking of DB, he had an informal performance last night to end the dance workshop he's been doing for the last few weeks. I went with his 'rents to watch. It was pretty low key, but I always enjoy seeing how his dancing's improving. There's only so much he can show me in my kitchen. :)

And that was my weekend. Hope yours was good, too!

Normal: movie review

I just watched the movie Normal. It's a movie about a transexual person (male to female), Roy/Ruth shown from the time she first explains her gender identity disorder to her wife (just after their 25th wedding anniversary) and over the next year as she transitions in preparation for reassignment surgery. In some ways I found the movie very predictable, not so much because it was really, but moreso because over the last year I've learned so much about this topic that I knew the kinds of steps she would go through and could predict some of the emotional processes her family would go through, too. Still, the final outcome was always a little uncertain, so the movie wasn't boring just because I was familiar with the topic.

There are a number of things I liked about this movie. Tom Wilkinson as Roy/Ruth is in appearance about as 'typical middle-aged American male' as you can get. I liked that there was no real attempt made to cast a man who could easily 'pass' as female. I found this made Ruth's reality so much more honest and straightforward. Her transition was never about the task of convincing anyone else that she was a woman, but rather about acknowledging what she felt and needed to do to feel right in herself.

There is a poignant moment early on where she puts on a simple pair of gold clip-on earrings she found in a thrift store. As she looks in the mirror the person she sees is masculine in appearance - the hair is not styled, the clothes are mens, she's wearing no makeup. But she stares at her image with the earrings on and there's a subtle but obvious lifting of the spirit. Later (after an adverse reaction to 'Roy' wearing the earrings to work) she explains simply that they made her feel pretty. It's so simple, but Wilkinson acts it just right. Jessica Lange is equally good throughout the film as Roy's wife.

There's also a scene between Ruth and her son (for anyone who's seen the movie, the moment on the stairs) who is not coping with the transition well, that made me cry at such a great outpouring of honest emotion. Each person had their own issues to deal with as how they perceived Roy as their husband or father changed in order for them to understand Ruth and how she was (and wasn't) the same person as before.

Normal isn't a perfect movie. It's trying to cover a huge topic in a small amount of time and some things are done very well, and others in a more superficial manner and that can't really be helped. But it showed the complexity of human relationships in relation to transition without trying to have (or provide) all the answers. I hadn't heard of it before this week and I'm glad I happened upon it. I agree with the Amazon.com review which said:

Normal explores Roy's gender dysphoria with empathy, but also has an eye for the social and familial absurdities that come up. The humor, far from trivializing the issue, steers it away from cloying sentiment or politically correct sanctimony. The movie captures the confusion of Roy's friends and coworkers with realism and without judgment, and the stressful changes of Roy and Irma's relationship aren't sugarcoated or made into a moral lesson.

Good movie.

5 things that have happened since I last blogged

1. I bought a car. My old one has been on the way out for some time and I've been driving it (oh so gingerly) with dogdy, grinding brakes and the engine stalling at every traffic light.

2. I won a camcorder and a camera (thank you Hoyts cinemas), the latter which I will use to show you my new car once I get it charged up (the camera, not the car). The cool thing is that it's an SLR camera, so maybe I can finally do a proper photography course.

3. My best friend at work moved back to Victoria. That was sad. On the bright side I do get to catch up with him sometimes as I work in Melbourne about once a month lately. Also I think he'll be happier there because he's training for a new job he likes and is now located in the same city as his (really nice) girlfriend.

4. Work has stepped up a notch. I'm much busier than before, but with interesting stuff. I also went up a pay increment which means a small pay rise. A promotion would be better.

5. I got into Twitter. I'm already defriending people who twit every ten minutes, but generally my favourite thing is watching people I like, like Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean, or Rove and P!nk twitter between themselves. I also love the fact that when I'm right in the middle of something great/terrible/annoying/boring I can send a twit from my phone. Like sending out a message in a tiny bottle from whatever deserted island I'm on. And it appears on the sidebar of my blog, too, which was my original reason for signing up.

So it goes. Now, how's life with everyone else?

look! it's a puppy nightlight

Glowing puppies.

Seriously, I get that this comes from some sea anemone, but I'm not sure I want a pet that appears to be radioactive.

If I'm going to go for a nightlight pet, I'd rather have Sheldon's fish:

not for the reason you think, christian lander

He's always calling me correctly, but I get out of this one, because even though I am technically a white person who loves Bob Marley, I am also Bajan and quite rightfully love most West Indian music. And Marley did make some amazing music.

In other news, I must really love the Dancer Boy, because I've just spent way too much money to buy a Beyonce ticket so he doesn't have to go to the concert by himself (his friends don't have the money). It's not like I hate her music or anything ~ and she's the kind of artist who pulls out all the bells and whistles for an arena concert ~ but it's unlikely I would have seen her in concert if there were no obsessed 14-year-old desperate to be there (tragically he knows the entire dance in the 'Single Ladies' music video).

What I DO get out of it is a fun roadtrip to Sydney with a kid I like and to be there when he gets to do something that he's thrilled about. It's almost a tradition ~ I've been on similar roadtrips with his brother and sister. And in the end it's only money.

Now that I come to think of it, this month the government is giving me $900 free in K-Rudd's stimulus package. I guess I'm already spreading the wealth. You're welcome, Economy!

important legal advice

Email exchange between my and a friend who is not supposed to be getting personal email at work:

Chosha: Dear Friend. If I buy a manual that teaches me how to use a computer application that I use in the course of my work, but I was not required to buy it by my workplace, even though it is used to improve my work skills, is that a deductible item? And while I just happen to be writing about this very important tax-related legal question…are you up for a movie? I have a bunch of vouchers for $8 movies at Hoyts that have to be used by and looking for suitably eager moviegoers.

Friend: Dear chosha. Thankyou for the opportunity to provide advice on the deductibility of certain expenses incurred in relation to employment. Division 8 of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997 (Cth) indicates that I love seeing movies. I get into all genres and most actors (with the possible exception of Johnny Depp - am suspicious of him and his alleged 'appeal' Do you like him?). Let me know when and I'm in! A senior legal advisor has approved this advice. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require clarification or further information.

Clearly her mistrust of Johnny Depp is misplaced, but I <3 my friends. :)

sinking in an ocean of stuff

But bailing as fast as I can. Where did all this stuff come from?! I mean, I recognise it. It's not like I can claim that some clutter elf came and delivered it during the night (or the last 700 nights). But holy cow!

I have identified at least three sources of this clutter:

1. paper

This category includes paperwork not filed or thrown away, supplies for future scrapbooking (including fliers and tickets and stuff like that, and also the actual supplies for the craft part of the exercise), notebooks and other evidence of my considerable stationery addiction, and unrecorded info (addresses, recipes, hexidecimal colour codes) on pieces of paper that otherwise would have been thrown away. Etc, Etc, Etc.

2. things that I've been meaning to give to other people.

It's going to be like Christmas in April when I start dropping these things off or mailing them.

3. projects not yet completed

Occasionally projects not yet started. (Oh, the shame.) I am severely well-intentioned. I am also (apparently, according to my clutter) a procrastinator of epic proportions. Or maybe I have too many plans for my limited time. I'm sure any number of valid-sounding justifications exist.

All I know is that I am extremely glad to have this big L-shaped ex-government workstation desk of mine. This means that to the left of my computer there is a workspace. Once the declutter is complete, these projects are going to get ticked off, one by one, because I am never again going to watch TV (which I watch on my computer) without doing something off to the left.

I really need to find my camera battery charger. Or maybe it's a good thing that I can't show you this clutter. Hmmm. Anyway, I'll keep swimming. Gotta reach the shore sometime...

my melbourne trip o' laughs

Every year the Melbourne International Comedy Festival brings great comedians not only to Melbourne, but also to tour other cities around the same time. It's my favourite time of year. I'm on a stricter budget just now as I'm buying a friend's car in about four weeks time, so I chose just three shows to see from the many, many available: Danny Buoy, Judith Lucy and Adam Hills (of purple balloon fame).

And then I got a call from the people at Thank God You're Here! Turns out the studio audience tickets I requested last year finally came up. TGYH is an improvisational comedy show. Each guest (mostly well-known comedians) walks into a scene, with only their costume as some sort of hint as to who they are. They need to figure out their character and respond to various prompts on the fly. To give you a taste of what the show's like here's a fabulous TGYH piece from Cal Wilson:



Well, the taping date they offered me was right in the middle of the comedy festival. So I had to see some more comedy shows, right? I mean I couldn't go to Melbourne during the festival and not see any comedy - it just wouldn't be right! So my 2009 entertainment budget suddenly expanded to include Potted Potter (fun, but more fun for kids), The Delusionists in Bunker Five (small budget production I can't recommend highly enough ~ if you're in Melbourne, check it out), Fiona McLoughlin and (drum roll please)...Janeane Garofalo (awesome).

I was in Melbourne for three days and it was so great. Carl Barron was a guest on the TGYH episode we watched, which was a treat. Brian Nankervis was the audience wrangler ~ there were lollies and juggling and jokes ~ he was great.

As a nice bonus, I met Janeane Garofalo in the park on Sunday. She was gracious about me interrupting her reading and I was pleased to hear she'd like to come back for another comedy festival. I'd definitely go see her again.
I happened to be sitting (also doing some reading) in a very quiet, blocked off Collins St when 500 or so people walking the 'Way of the Cross' for Good Friday descended in orderly fashion on their way to the next huge, old, beautiful Melbourne church on their list. At each stop they read a scripture and sang - it was quite beautiful (a fabulous tenor was leading the crowd in the hymns) and I travelled along with them for a few stops before heading into the city for lunch. Nice way to be reminded that it was Easter.

I'm determined that one year I'm going to take two weeks leave, go to Melbourne and wallow in the comedy festival goodness. It's going to happen, people. It is.

And simply for your listening pleasure, David O'Doherty on Spicks and Specks performing his song, 'Very Mild Superpowers':

atonement and reincarnation

Last night I had a discussion with a friend about whether the concepts of Christian atonement and reincarnation were compatible or could be reconciled. I've always seen the whole idea of this life as a test and redemption through Christ as a one-shot deal. If reincarnation is real, I don't see a place for the atonement - at least certainly not the same sort of place it occupies if this life is our only life. My friend Tesla* (whose religious beliefs can probably best be described as 'Christian alternative') sees Jesus as having achieved perfection through the process of reincarnation, and the Atonement as an act of mercy so profound that God granted him the right to forgive sin and in essence to help us move along the path of spiritual development more quickly. We also went off on about eight or nine tangents, but I won't go there.

Now I'm not asking you what you believe exactly. But if it interests you as a debate topic, I am interested in your ideas on whether you feel the two concepts can be considered compatible. (So, in other words, even if, say, you don't believe in reincarnation, assume it's real just for the sake of the discussion. Same goes for Jesus Christ - assume he existed and performed an act of Atonement for all humankind.) This is more about the concepts than any actual spiritual belief of individuals.

Do you think that the idea of redemption through a saviour can apply to many lives as it applies in most Christian doctrine to one life? Why might that work, or not work? I have some ideas to add, but I'm curious to see if anyone else has an opinion first.

By the way, I'd planned an Easter post with a Lent recap, but it's still in draft. Stay tuned!

*I love choosing nicks for people mentioned on this blog. It's become like a tiny hobby.