meme for grownups

Here’s a meme aimed at grown-ups via Sean from Alone and Unobserved. If you’re a grownup, and you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged. If not, seek your parents' permission first.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Electricity bill, especially in Winter.

2. Do you miss being a child?
I miss the stuff I did as a child, like playing in a treehouse or riding my little orange two-wheeler with no hands or exploring the dump and other places I wasn't allowed to go. I miss having so much time to read. I miss that feeling of really believing that your dad was magical and knew everything. There's also a mountain of stuff I don't miss and wouldn't want to return to.

3. Chore you hate the most?
Vacuuming.

4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
At the guy's house, roughly oooooh, a million years ago? This question just makes me sad. :)

5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I would learn a lot earlier how to be responsible with money.

6. Name of your first grade teacher?
Miss Tucker. Nice lady.

7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
I'd like to be working on a t-shirt design, but can't find the cable that connects the camera to the computer to upload the photo I took to use as a tracing image.

8. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a teacher, but I honestly think that was a lack of imagination on my part. I didn't have a lot of life experience beyond school and so I conjured up a career that exists in school. Of course I have now actually been a teacher in a high school (in Japan) and loved every minute of it. I know now that (if I could be bothered getting the extra qualification) I could be a teacher and like it, but I really don't think as a kid that I had a clear picture of the job to judge it by.

9. How many colleges did you attend?
Two for my degree and one more right now.

10. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Because it's warm, purple and looks good with these jeans.

11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
They're high, but I work less than ten minutes from my house, so I tend to not care too much in terms of paying those prices. I will say that I don't think gas prices are a reason to go to war over oil, and that if people bought local goods and produce where possible and used public transport more often that we wouldn't need so much petrol. Also bio-fuel research and development is causing starvation and should not be vigorously pursued at this time.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Quick, snooze button!

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Remembering a nice conversation I had with someone at work earlier that day. I often replay conversations later.

14. What famous people would you like to have dinner with?
Living people? Noam Chomsky, Neil Gaiman (I was at the linked event, incidentally), John Cusack and the guys from Domoto Kyoudai (and if Shingo and Gackt come along I'm cool with that). But not all at the same dinner party.

15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
I slightly scratched my neighbour's car last year. Apart from that any crash I've had has been someone else crashing their car into mine.

16. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?
Yeah. Last time I volunteered it was doing literacy tutoring. I'm not sure what I'd do if I didn't have to work at all.

17. Get up early or sleep in?
I like to sleep in on the weekend, but on work days it just pisses me off if I wake up and realise I've slept late. I like getting to work early because I need about an hour without the phone ringing or people wanting something, just to get organised and settle into my day.

18. What is your favorite cartoon character?
Right now...maybe Stewie from Family Guy. I no longer watch the show (I hit my crass humour threshhold somewhere around season 4) but he is always hilarious. When I was a kid I really liked Birdman and the Herculoids. And Batfink. And Cool McCool. And Wylie Coyote.

19. Favorite thing to do at night?
Movies, internet, writing.

20. When did you first start feeling old?
I don't feel old. I don't even feel as old as I am (I often find myself feeling like people my own age are old-fashioned). However, I first felt like someone 'older' when I was talking to a younger friend one day about relationships (and the drama and uncertainty of relationships) and realised just how much crap I don't put myself through anymore because I have more of a sense now of who I am and what I want and where I will and won't compromise. I think I really 'grew up' the day I realised that I'm not afraid to be alone. I don't like it, but I'd rather be alone than be in a bad relationship.

21. Favorite lunch meat?
Turkey

22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
I guess in Australia the equivalent would be Kmart or Big W? I think this would go something like cheap shirts, greeting cards, and random home stuff like door hooks or a desk lamp. There's nothing I get every time.

23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No. I think it's a commitment that can take a relationship to a whole new level. I do recognise that it doesn't suit everyone's take on romance and family, but I'm definitely into monogamy and think marriage is cool.

24. A favorite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
I think I'd own up to pretty much any 'guilty pleasure' movie if pressed. Um...Xanadu? (No seriously.) I also really like 'Bring It On'. :)

25. What’s your favorite drink?
Nonalcoholic? Water, apple cider.
Alcoholic? Malibu (Barbados white rum, coconut flavour). I'm not much of a drinker, but I want to try tequila one day to see what all the fuss is about.

26. Who would you like to run into from high school?
Sandy, Tracey, Dagmar, Craig. Would be nice to see any of them and talk over old times.

27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
106.3 (80s till now) 104.7 (Top 40) and Triple J (indie/alternative rock mixed in with top 40 stuff that doesn't suck) and I switch between them all the time to find songs I like.

28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Gossip Girl. :)

29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Being afraid to make the first move and losing a guy as a result. (Of course he was also afraid to make the first move. We talked about it later, but by then he was dating someone else.) It was a long time ago and it would have ended, but it would have been a lot of fun while it lasted.

30. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
Yeah. He's an older guy, and quirky, but we get along pretty well.

31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
No, but I did spill oil on one of the kitchen hotplates and had to pour salt on it to kill the fire. It was a bit scary actually.

32. Last book you finished reading?
'Strange Pilgrims', a book of short stories by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I read some and then put it down for a few months and only just got back to it. I'm currently reading 'Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain' by Oliver Sacks. Interesting. Hoping to squeeze in 'My Sister's Keeper' by Jodi Picoult before going to see the movie in a couple of weeks. I'm borrowing it from a friend, but she hasn't finished it yet.

33. Do you have a teddy bear?
In a box somewhere.

34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
In my car? Camping? This is a stupid question.

35. Do you go to church?
Not for six months now.

36. How old are you?
I find it strange how reluctant I am to answer that question. In real life it doesn't bother me at all. Weird.

37. Have you ever been arrested?
Couple of times in the 80s by the fashion police. You know how it is, you're with a few friends, you get a little carried away and suddenly you're wearing an electric blue, button-down shirt with puffed sleeves and ruffles and way too much pink blush...um, yeah.

38. Have you ever attended a public protest against a major corporation or a government?
Yes. Most recently the Howard government's terrible industrial relations laws (later overturned by the new government).

39. Do you feel that your type of employment traps you or liberates you?
I work in the public service as a policy analyst. This allows me a certain amount of choice in moving between departments without losing my accumulated benefits, which is handy. The pay is decent. I like the work, but to say it liberates me is probably a bit rich. I don't feel trapped. I do sometimes feel like I get too comfortable and would have trouble going back to the private sector.

40. Is voting a duty, a privilege, a right, or an option?
A duty and a right.

41. Have you ever sat on a jury?
No.

42. Have you ever seen someone die?
Yes. I was with a friend at the hospital when her step-mother died from cancer. She just kind of slipped away.

43. Are you making any preparations for old age or for retirement?
Yes, but I'm not satisfied yet that I've done enough to avoid living in a cardboard box on the side of the road. We'll see how it goes.

44. Do you have children? Or, if not, do you wish to?
No, except the ones I borrow from time to time. I would very much like to raise kids, but I don't care if they're biologically mine or not.

45. Have you ever served in your country’s armed forces?
No. I'm not sure why (because I've always been pretty coordinated when it comes to sport and such) but I have this ominous feeling that I'd end up shooting myself in the foot, or blowing up the wrong building or something equally counter-productive and unsoldierlike.

46. How is your relationship with your parents different from what it was when you were a child?
When I was a kid I worshipped my dad and resented my mother (because she was the one trying to raise me properly and he spoiled me). As an adult I respect my mother and really enjoy her company. My dad is not a bad person, but he is flawed in ways that make it hard for me to be around him for long periods of time. Sometimes we get along really well, but it never lasts.

47. Have you ever had a substantial conversation with a homeless person?
Yes, but not very often.

48. If life is “a journey”, then where are you going?
I honestly don't know. I feel a strong need to establish some security for myself and I suppose that's the destination I'm seeking financially. In terms of me as a person I care less about where I'm going than about what happens along the way. I don't think I'm ever going to do anything really profound, but if I can have a positive impact on the lives of people I meet and interact with, I think I'm okay with that.

me and the blog

I've been asked before why I blog. It's a good question, but one that is hard to answer. I like to write, but there's a difference between writing for fun or relaxation or to comment on political or social issues or just life, and writing as a craft. I might work for weeks on a 400-word story or a poem, but that isn't going to happen with a blog post. And it shouldn't. It's more natural to just write and only edit for correctness. It's like the difference between snapshots and paintings, and the blog is more like a photo album than an art gallery.

Because of this, I sometimes worry that what I write on the blog is largely superficial. That isn't to say that I don't ever write about issues that are meaningful to me, but most of the time they are issues that are out there in the world and not about me personally and my own life. Some of the reason for that is that the most personal things (worth writing about) are hard things and it's difficult to open yourself to the vulnerability writing about them entails.

I don't write very often about things like the deep lonliness I sometimes feel, or how frustrating it is to feel like I have this immense capacity for loving that I never get to express (at least haven't for a long time). I haven't been in that many serious relationships, but those few were pretty good. I was good at loving them (obscure Christian Slater movie reference anyone?) I hope I get that chance again with someone I like and respect.

I've spent my whole adult life caring for, teaching, supporting and generally emotionally investing in other people's children and it's painful to realise that I may never get the chance to raise kids that I get to keep instead of give back. To be honest I've never even really cared whether or not I gave birth - I hate it when people say you have to bear a child to be a mother, because it isn't true. But the difference is that when you do give birth, you really have to screw up for someone to take that child away. When you don't, you have to wait for someone to allow you the privilege of raising a child, and that's rare. A couple of years ago a close friend of mine and her partner were basically just given a baby. I wish it were that easy for me. If someone dropped a child off on my doorstep, I'd have to change my entire life to accomodate them, yet it would be an easy decision to make.

These are the things that I don't often say, because they are ever-present and if I blogged about them all the time it would be a very angsty blog indeed. Generally speaking, my life isn't so angsty. It's busy and challenging and sometimes lovely. And sometimes not.

The other reason I don't blog about personal things a lot is that I'm (perhaps too) aware of my audience ~ both the known and the unknown. In my life offline I have a few friends that I talk to about pretty much anything, but only a few. I've connected with some awesome people through the blogosphere, some of them people I think I could be friends with for real if we lived close enough to each other for that to be viable. So part of me wants to just be one of those bloggers who writes without concern for who reads, because I've had good experiences with people who read and comment.

But the internet is a weird place and I find it more sensible to assume that everyone I know reads the blog, because then hopefully I won't write anything that hurts someone, or that exposes me or someone I know to stupid gossip, or reveal even good things that they regard as too personal for the internet. One of my closest friends found and read the blog for a while before telling me that they were doing so. What they thought they might read while I was unaware I do not know. But it's one of the things that makes me cautious, because this is a person who probably knows anything I'm likely to write here anyway. I don't know if it's truly possible to be anonymous on the net, and I'm not even sure I want to be completely so ~ but if not, then what I write will always be tempered by an imagined audience. It's just the way it is.

Anyway, the point of this post is really that I hope I can open up a bit more in the future about myself, even if there will always be a line that I don't want to cross. During my short break I read some of my earlier posts and it felt like I had more to say. I still have things to say. I hope some of you will stick around to read them.

taking a break

[Edit: because I just realised this makes me sound pretty depressed. Which I was...for about two days. Then I started my new topic, 'Poetry & the Imagination' and distracted myself from my own thoughts long enough for my natural resilience to kick back in. Which is usually the way it goes. :) I will continue with the break a little longer because it's been useful to focus on studies (uni and also the lent thing) for a while.]

I probably won't be posting for a while. I'm a bit weary of it all. Thinking. Writing. Being me. I'm not going to bore you with the reasons why. I probably won't comment much either, so don't think I've abandoned reading your blog if you don't see an input from me. I'll be back in the blogosphere at some point soon. Right now I just need a break. And as I can't take a break from work or my one subject at university, I'm taking a break from everything else.

Be good, love you guys.
chosha

kitten therapy

I stopped by my friend's house today. They have six-week-old kittens just now and they are so sweet.

Kittens are easy to read. If they don't feel like being on your lap they squirm and send a small letter of protest to you typed with tiny little needle claws. When they want to be close to you they climb boldly into your lap and set up camp and fall asleep anywhere they like. Like small children they show affection without any awkwardness or agenda. There are no shades of meaning to interpret. Or to incorrectly interpret. Everything is what it is.

I may need more kitten therapy tomorrow.

And on a sort-of-but-not-really-related note, kittens, inspired by kittens:

anything other than me

Watching a lot of One Tree Hill lately. Don't worry ~ I'm not planning to blog on it, though I may borrow a few of Lucas' literary quotes. There are some great ones. I've also been struck by Gavin McGraw's lyrics each time the theme plays:

"I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me."

Which is true. Sometimes I want to be a better me, but I do like myself, for the most part. This doesn't stop me wondering sometimes if 'me' is enough. Enough for what? Good question. And I'm not sure I have a good answer. It's easy to feel like you fall short when you're not sure what you're measuring yourself against.

I hope this doesn't come across like I'm down. I'm not. Just thinking.

living space

Yet again chosha is on the decluttering path. The nature of clearing stuff out is that it gets worse before it gets better, so at the moment I feel completely surrounded by boxes and bags of stuff. I've only lived here for five years and I'm not really that much into shopping, so I find myself confused as where the heck all this stuff came from.

At least my procrastination in getting to this tedious task has some benefits. For one thing it makes the decluttering process less painful. There are several boxes I sent to myself when I left Japan. The first time I tried to cull these I could hardly bear to throw anything away. I was missing Japan and everything seemed too precious. Now that a few years have passed it's amazing what I'm willing to ditch.

I'm really looking forward to finishing. My mind is definitely more organised when my work or living environment is the same. More than that, I want to do more with my space at home. The first few years I was in Canberra I was constantly trying to decide whether to move interstate to some livelier city. It never seemed worth settling in properly and making the place my own. As a result I have artwork not yet up on the walls, shelves and the like unassembled and a 'whatever' decorating theme throughout. I was pretty happy with my apartment in Osaka. It had a relaxing vibe. I'd like to have a go at making my current space as liveable. Decluttering's a good start. So I guess I'm back to sorting. It's going to be one hell of a garage sale!

Do you like your living space?

feeling rattled ~ the windows et moi

The carport at our place is open at the sides. The back has two large metal panels. One of them has come loose towards the middle and sits a little askew. Friday night the wind tore through our neighbourhood like a banshee warning of approaching death. This huge sheet of metal groaned with the strain on staying in place and the windows in the house shook. Sheet rain beat a heavy pattern on the house and made the wind icy the one time I ventured out. The last time the wind and rain swept through so loud and strong five huge trees fell, so it was a little scary to imagine what damage might occur.

Wild weather always makes me wonder about climate change. I've read that one of its effects will be more of the unpredictable weather that seems to have increased in the last decade. It's nice to feel like you're in control, like life will go steadily along if you just do your part. But the truth is that we have so little control over so many things. Weather is just one of them. Health is another obvious area where control would be nice, but any sense of real control is pretty much an illusion.

A young friend of mine has been driving recklessly lately, despite a horrible accident that left a close friend of hers with brain damage. He is still in hospital with huge challenges like impaired vision and many skills to relearn. She's been at the hospital so often over the last few months, and yet still she speeds and weaves in and out of traffic as is Fate had secretly given her a 'get out of death free' card. I just wish she could really understand that the reason more experienced drivers don't drive that way isn't because we can't. It's because we have the years of driving behind us to know just how little we have control of on the road. She is well able to handle the way she drives...as long as nothing unexpectedly goes wrong. The only thing she can control is herself and her own car, and even the latter is tenuous. She can't control other drivers, their cars, the composite effect of the traffic conditions, the kid who may run out, the kangaroo with a death wish, and so on.

Recently at work a couple of people were asked if they wanted to take a redundancy package. Generally that question has only one workable answer. Working for government often engenders a false sense of job security. I've been working really hard lately because of some personal goalsetting, but this situation made me even more determined to make sure that I have a good record at work. One of my friends is one of the people leaving and she was so thrown by it. It seemed like she had the next few years sorted and now she's looking for a new job.

I know life is uncertain and it's not something I worry about a lot. Until the windows rattle and I remember just how mere a mere mortal I am.

tag I'm it! 20+ years of chosha

I secretly love getting tagged, perhaps because it hardly ever happens.

Sean's version is here.

20 years ago I:

1. Did accounts and reception for a small paint brush manufacturer.
2. Drove a '79 Toyota Corona (mustard).
3. Kept half my belongings in my car because I was never home.
4. Loved house music.
5. Had more guyfriends than girlfriends (before they all got married and weren't allowed to be friends with single women any more). Hey I'm not bitter. Much.

10 years ago I:

1. Was in the third year of my undergraduate degree (International Studies).
2. Worked as a research assistant to my favourite lecturer.
3. Drove a different '79 Toyota Corona (red).
4. Taught early morning seminary to 20 teenagers.
5. Was livid that the Howard coalition government had been re-elected.

5 years ago I:

1. Saw a LOT of live indies rock.
2. Found out that I had to leave Japan because the job I'd set up fell through. :(
3. Came to work in Canberra after getting a job here.
4. Spent heaps of money calling Tetchan in Seattle (the next year I discovered calling cards!)
5. Was disturbed by the start of the Iraq war, which I felt was unjust.

3 years ago I:

1. Started this blog!!
2. Finally started to make more friends in Canberra and settle in.
3. Often felt like I was living in some kind of limbo state.
4. Saw my brother. I mention that because I haven't seen him since.
5. Started making more time to be creative.

So far this year I:

1. Completed one semester of my Grad Dip in Professional Writing.
2. Formed a writers group with some friends from the course.
3. Endured and then evicted a terrible boarder who still owes me 100s of dollars.
4. Got to work on new projects that are much more chewy and interesting.
5. Am still driving the '84 Toyota Corona (sky blue) I bought in 2004 and likely to be until the wheels fall off.

Yesterday I:

1. Found out that UnpaidMermaid will be in Australia up to eight more weeks and really had a difficult time feeling sad about that, even though it's a hassle for her.
2. Missed another deadline for a poetry competition. Dammit.
3. Had a yummy fruit salad for lunch courtesy of the leftovers from the morning tea the social club held two hours before.
4. Saw six emerging comedians compete at the Irish Club. Three of them were funny. The others were (in order) lewd, angry and spent way too much time pausing to allow for audience laughter. Still, there were a lot of laughs to be had. Colin Lane hosted the night and he was great, if a little goofy. Next week's heat will be hosted by Corrine Grant and I'd love to see her, but that's the night I'm going to see the So You Think You Can Dance? Top Ten Tour. I'll probably see some of the weeks after that.
5. Got to sleep way too late.

Today I:

1. Spent some time with a friend whose father died later in the day. Sad.
2. Realised that I am totally not going to complete the draft of the paper I'm supposed to take to Melbourne on Monday. Hello weekend visit to the office.
3. Was a little comforted that my boss is in exactly the same predicament (so many other things need doing all at the same time we're both flat out like a lizard drinking this week).
4. Saw Get Smart with my friend Starman. As long as you're not expecting it to be like the original TV series, it's funny and sweet and there's even a little cool fighting. Anne Hathaway surprised me with some very slick moves. The Rock and Steve Carrell were both good, too.
5. Tried a tangelo for the first time. It was pretty much an orange.

Tomorrow I will:

1. Sleep in.
2. Work on a new design for my cafepress shop.
3. Go to work for a few hours.
4. Have dinner out to farewell one of my boarders. He is returning home to China.
5. Fit laundry and housework in around items 1-4.

In the next year I will:

1. Finish more of my grad dip.
2. Visit the US.
3. Finish a first draft of the novel that has been kicking around in my head and for which a brilliant ending suddenly came to me today. Now I just have to write the beginning and the middle. :)
4. Go home for Christmas.
5. Get promoted.

new take on the meaning of life

Well, when I say 'new', it's from a seven-year-old episode of Angel, but anyway... The screen captures are a little dark, sorry.

Kate: My whole life has been about being a cop. If I'm not a part of the Force, it's like nothing I do means anything.
Angel: It doesn't.
Kate: Doesn't what?
Angel: Mean anything. In the greater scheme, in the big picture. Nothing we do matters. There's no Grand Plan, no big win.
Kate: You seem kind of chipper about that.
Angel: I guess I kinda worked it out. If there's no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do. 'Cause that's all there is: what we do ~ now, today. I fought for so long...for redemption, for reward, finally just to beat the other guy, but I never got it.
Kate: Now you do?
Angel: No...all I want to do is help. I want to help because I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because if there's no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.
Kate: Yikes, it sounds like you had an epiphany.
Angel: I keep saying that, but no-one's listening...

To be honest I see some flaws in his reasoning (eg, to say that 'all that matters is what we do' ignores the drivers that motivate what we do, the scope of which cover a lot more ground than 'live well' or 'be kind to others and do no harm') but still I find that I like this reasoning.

We may wonder about the afterlife and hope (we have one and) it's something happy or productive or beautiful, but in the end it's kind of sad if the only reason we do good is to make installments on a fat final reward. And where does end-game thinking like that leave people who don't believe there is anything after this life? I think life needs purpose, even if it's a purpose we assign to it. And I think most people who life above subsistence level (who have the time and energy to give to pondering what life's about) want to carve out some kind of purposeful life for themselves.

What do you guys think?

being happy with less

A family tale I hadn't heard until recently concerns my favourite uncle. You may remember him as the previously blogged-about jazz-playing goat farmer and newspaper columnist. He wrote a while back about the new government in Barbados and the promises they've made about the cost of living, affordable land and housing and hospital. I loved this part:

Housing means little to one who spent his early married life happily in a tent and an old Transport Board bus. It's sad to see young Bajan couples saddling themselves with heavy mortgages for elaborate bungalows which they scarcely have time to enjoy. Go chattel, I say.

My mum confirmed that, yes, when my aunt and uncle got married they had enough to buy the land, but lived for a while in a tent, then a bus, while they saved for a house. Of course living in a tent is a little easier on a tropical island where you won't freeze to death in the process, but it struck me just how much less people could be happy with, if their expectations were different, or if they saw debt, not secondhand furniture, as the enemy.


I'm already a convert to this thinking. I used to get into debt just for lack of patience. Now I drive an old Toyota Corona and pretty much all of my furniture is secondhand. And I'm cool with that. It's not like my furniture is crappy either. I just haunted the secondhand furniture shops until something I liked came along.


In fact, I wish I'd wised up a lot earlier and realised that 'things' really shouldn't have as much magnetic power in our spending lives as they do. Recently some young friends of mine got married and as a present I gave them a book about communication in marriage and working together to stay out of debt. Stress and squabbling over financial troubles is one of the top reasons for divorce, so I couldn't think of a better way to say, 'I love you, and I want you two to stay together'.


I don't think everybody needs to live in a tent to start out right. They just need to know that 'things' really aren't the key to anyone's satisfaction and happiness in life.

things i've been doing lately

Sooooo, how is everyone? I'm busy and happy-ish. Why? Let's see...

1. Compu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-computer games.

My computer died. I think I mentioned it, yeah? Turned out to be the old ticker, but one heart transplant later it's like a new toy again. In fact the new heart is stronger and the comp's working better than before. Loving it! I also bought me a 2GB flash drive which is proving handy for my new studies...but I'll get to that later.

2. Yep, buh-bye now! :)

Helping people out is a nice thing to do, but sometimes it backfires and you end up with a freeloading sponge in your house. I'm down about $800 in unpaid board and really, really tired of living with someone whose contribution to the household consists mostly of doing his own dishes. The sad thing is that I took him in to help him out (he was my friend's daughter's boyfriend at the time and seemed like a nice enough kid) and though I don't want to become that cynical kind of person who thinks the whole world sucks, this has seriously put me off helping anyone ever again. Bit of an exaggeration of course, but I certainly won't be offering anyone a place to stay anytime soon. He will be gone in a couple of days and I have a homestay student moving in. Can't wait. Be nice to think I'll get the money one day, but I'm not holding my breath.

3. Oi! That's mine!

Remember last year when I won a 42-inch plasma screen TV? A few weeks ago we were burgled and it's gone, gone, gone. Nothing from the police so far. I'm pissed off for sure, but handling it a lot better than if I'd paid for it myself. We actually know who stole it ~ a junkie stranger that the soon-to-be-ex-boarder met through work and let into the house one night when he turned up uninvited, and yes, I'm aware he technically is to blame and should replace the TV, but that isn't going to happen so why stress over it? ~ but because he wandered unaccompanied around our house a few days earlier, we can't prove that any fingerprints they found were from the burglary. We know it was him because the S-T-B-E-B saw him at the local shops wearing his (stolen) shoes and hat.

4. Colour me studious.

This year I signed up for a Graduate Diploma in Professional Writing. I'm really enjoying it. My subjects are Freelance Writing and Introduction to Editing, next semester FW2 and Advanced Editing. Next year I'll study Screenwriting and Writing for Young People and probably take on a screenwriting project. The best thing so far is the constant demand to write. We have major assignments of course, but we also do in-class exercises each week. One big assignment is to write an 800 word piece and read it in class, then answer questions. Two people do that each week, so we have a chance each week to hear and analyse two pieces of writing, which is so interesting. This expectation that we will write each and every week has been great, because I was starting to feel like a fraud to my own goals ~ a writer who never wrote anything. I never seemed to get any ideas. Now I feel like I have a lot to write about.

In fact, I submitted three pieces ~ two poems and a creative non-fiction piece ~ to be considered for an anthology that's published each year of creative writing from students at my university. They get a lot more submissions than they publish, so there has to be some merit to the piece if it's accepted. There's one poem that I think is better than the other two pieces and that's the one I'm hoping will make it in. Anything else is just gravy. I'd post it, but I think that technically counts as publishing and it can't be considered if it's been published. I'll let you know what happens.

5. Making friends and not particularly influencing people.

One nice aspect of doing grad studies is that the class doesn't average out at nineteen years old. Most of the class are around my age or a little younger and I've made some friends. Given that these same people will be in my classes for two years, that's a real bonus. Plus they're even friends who write and are into the Arts. I mean good Lord, next time I want to go to a poetry slam or an improv night, I may actually not need to coax someone into 'trying something new'.

so much to tell you

I am writing a quick post just to let you know that my computer died last night. I'll blog before work a little, but things will be infrequent. Which is a shame actually, because there have been some interesting developments in chosha's life recently.

More soon.

my week in a thousand words or less

It's been a busy few days since I got back from Japan. Wednesday I slept half the day away and then went to see the Free Rain production of Seven Year Itch. Of the three productions I've seen (Seven Year Itch, Pride & Prejudice and Hedda Gabler) this one had by far the best acting and direction. Their next production is The Secret Garden, a children's musical being done at the end of the school holidays in January. I love the book so I'll probably borrow someone's kid and go along.

Thursday I returned to work. I still haven't tackled the 200 emails waiting for me, because Thursday and Friday were both taken up by a training course in project management. Thursday night I went to see Drummer Boy and the Keyboard Kid perform at their school drama night. KK was amazing, though he performed the same piece he's been getting mileage out of for three months now...slacker. :) DB is going through a songwriting phase, and he's talented, but he sings in this weird American-sounding accent that distracts you from the song itself. Perhaps he's modelling his singing on some vocalist he likes, but I hope he gets over it soon. I don't want people to ignore his songs because he's making them sound affected and over-emotional. The boys were performing as opening acts to a school play called Bang Bang, You're Dead, an exploration of the mindset behind school shootings. I expected it, in spite of the provocative content, to be as lame as most school productions are, but it was actually pretty powerful. Also got to meet DB's new girlfriend. Interesting.

Friday night I went to the pub after work to meet Army Boy's girlfriend, who came up for the weekend from Melbourne. He mentions her a lot at work so it was good to put a face to the name. Her plane was delayed, so I only got ten minutes or so to suss her out, but she seems normal enough. Then I had to rush off to a baptism. I may or may not have mentioned that Gangsta Girl's boyfriend moved into my place a few months ago. Nice guy, quiet, plays a lot of xbox and ps3, good friends with DB (GG's brother) who is now often at my house. Anyway, he's been coming to church a lot with them, and while I was away he decided to get baptised. Sky had the brilliant idea of putting me on the program to sing, but I nixed that one as soon as I found out. It's been a long time since I sung in public and two days was not enough time to practice or organise someone to play piano. It would have sounded like crap, which I'm guessing wasn't quite the sound they were hoping for.

[Sky often has "brilliant ideas" of things other people should do (while she stays carefully out of the spotlight at all times). The last one was to ask a friend of ours (who dances, but is not a confident singer) to perform a singing telegram at some guy's farewell, in a maid costume Sky owns (I could ask, but chances are it would be TMI). And somehow she was honestly surprised when the girl said 'no'.]

Anyway, the baptism was nice. XB's folks drove three hours to come support him, which was good of them. Some parents feel strongly about their child joining a different church/religion to the one in which they were raised, and can be quite negative, but they were friendly and cheerful at the baptism, even though in conversation later it was clear have their own beliefs.

Saturday was election day. It was also the day to restore my home to cleanliness after three weeks of XB and Noddy doing the bachelor pad thing...not attractive. They (and by they I mean XB, as Noddy barely does dishes, let alone real housework) did "clean up" before I got back, but apparently nineteen-year-old boys can't see mould...terrible really, someone should plan a benefit.

Saturday evening I went to the first of many Christmas parties ~ can't believe it's that time of the year already ~ this one for the Relief Society (aka women over 18 at my church). What stood out most was the attention to detail: tiny tinsel garlands on the stems of the glasses, delicately cut out words ~ joy, faith, peace, love ~ in gold, red and green strewn across the table, the fruit punch flavoured with mint leaves, little bows on the back of each chair. Strangely we sung no carols, the only thing that disappointed me. Apart from that it was perfect: relaxed, good food, good conversation, nativity scenes appearing on a small screen framed to look like a manger tipped up on its side, a Christmas story or two.

Lastly, after the party, Sky and I visited Dobby (friend of Drummer Boy's that they took in a few months back) who had his appendix out this week. He's doing okay with the help of his new best friend: pain medication. As we walked through the halls of the hospital we happened upon a lone guy watching TV in a waiting area, just in time to find out we had a new government. A great end to a good day.

Sunday I went to church. The Primary kids liked the Japan-themed bendy pencils. I also showed them Japanese money and some other random stuff I brought back. And tonight I went to Sky & Rev's for dinner because clearly seeing me five days in a row just isn't enough for them.

And that was my week. How was yours?

hating these gaps in between posts

Right now I'm hating that there are only 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, etc. I'm NOT hating the things that are filling up my time lately. It's more that it's always a trade-off ~ whatever you give your time to, you are making a choice NOT to give your time to something else. I've agreed to do roadshow, and I LIKE doing roadshow, but it still means I'm putting off things again that I was hoping to get back to this month.The fact that it's inevitable doesn't make it any easier a choice.

One light at the end of this tunnel is that I just booked a flight to visit Adelaide at the end of July. I haven't been home for months. So yah!