a little east of reality

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

5 things that have happened since I last blogged

1. I bought a car. My old one has been on the way out for some time and I've been driving it (oh so gingerly) with dogdy, grinding brakes and the engine stalling at every traffic light.

2. I won a camcorder and a camera (thank you Hoyts cinemas), the latter which I will use to show you my new car once I get it charged up (the camera, not the car). The cool thing is that it's an SLR camera, so maybe I can finally do a proper photography course.

3. My best friend at work moved back to Victoria. That was sad. On the bright side I do get to catch up with him sometimes as I work in Melbourne about once a month lately. Also I think he'll be happier there because he's training for a new job he likes and is now located in the same city as his (really nice) girlfriend.

4. Work has stepped up a notch. I'm much busier than before, but with interesting stuff. I also went up a pay increment which means a small pay rise. A promotion would be better.

5. I got into Twitter. I'm already defriending people who twit every ten minutes, but generally my favourite thing is watching people I like, like Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean, or Rove and P!nk twitter between themselves. I also love the fact that when I'm right in the middle of something great/terrible/annoying/boring I can send a twit from my phone. Like sending out a message in a tiny bottle from whatever deserted island I'm on. And it appears on the sidebar of my blog, too, which was my original reason for signing up.

So it goes. Now, how's life with everyone else?

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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

important legal advice

Email exchange between my and a friend who is not supposed to be getting personal email at work:

Chosha: Dear Friend. If I buy a manual that teaches me how to use a computer application that I use in the course of my work, but I was not required to buy it by my workplace, even though it is used to improve my work skills, is that a deductible item? And while I just happen to be writing about this very important tax-related legal question…are you up for a movie? I have a bunch of vouchers for $8 movies at Hoyts that have to be used by and looking for suitably eager moviegoers.

Friend: Dear chosha. Thankyou for the opportunity to provide advice on the deductibility of certain expenses incurred in relation to employment. Division 8 of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997 (Cth) indicates that I love seeing movies. I get into all genres and most actors (with the possible exception of Johnny Depp - am suspicious of him and his alleged 'appeal' Do you like him?). Let me know when and I'm in! A senior legal advisor has approved this advice. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you require clarification or further information.

Clearly her mistrust of Johnny Depp is misplaced, but I <3 my friends. :)

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Saturday, March 28, 2009

you can't go home

At least you can't go home and expect everything to be as you remember it, which is the real point of that saying. Things change, people move in and out, children get older, businesses close.

But in spite of all this (and sometimes because of it) it has been so, so wonderful to be home this last week. In Canberra I'm often looking around for people who want to go out, see a show, etc. I've made friends there but everyone is busy with work and family. But in Adelaide there are friends that consider me family. I feel so freaking loved here. If I could get a similar job as the one I do in Canberra I'd seriously consider moving back.

But for now I'm packing to head back. I've got to pick up some froggy cakes ~ the best Adelaide おみやげ ~ on the way to the airport. Tonight I'm going with a(n Adelaide) friend to see Adam Hills at the Canberra Theatre. Tomorrow is writing group. Life in the cold capital isn't all bad. :)

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Sunday, January 11, 2009

slipping out from under the radar

So the new year is here and I'm no longer attending church. For those who didn't see that coming (and who care about such things) don't sweat it: it's something I've only blogged around the edges of over the last year, mainly because I sometimes have trouble remembering who reads the blog. Incidentally, if you're (you know who you are) reading this and we have mutual real life (as opposed to web-based) friends, try to resist the urge to gossip. It would be kind of good to tell people myself when I visit home in a couple of months.

So why am I mentioning it now? Well, I just had an interesting experience. A few days ago the ward Relief Society president sent an email because she hadn't heard back from me on whether or not I wanted to be a visiting teacher this year. I explained that 'for various reasons' I wouldn't be able to accept that role. She then (in a kindly-intentioned fashion) sent me some alternative options that would allow me to still be involved (eg would I be willing to write a letter to two sisters each month?) So finally I just explained that I didn't think it would appropriate for me to take on any VT role, because I wasn't planning to attend church anymore.

I've already told some people about this and their reactions have been interesting to say the least. My mother told me that she would support whatever decision I made. Some weeks later she asked me if I was still planning to leave, in a rather timid voice. I asked her if this upset her and she said no, but that it made her feel lonely (she's now the only active member in our immediate family and we have no members in our extended family). I explained to her that I would always support her decision to attend, that she was welcome to discuss church and/or church doctrine with me anytime, and that I would never think she was silly for being a member of the church. And I won't. If I thought it was silly, I could never have been a member so long. There are a lot of basic values I learned at church that I will always respect and try to live.

Two friends were a little sad about it, but calm and accepting. Three other friends (to my great surprise) informed me that they either hadn't been active for some time, or were attending but also experiencing serious doubts/issues that had them questioning their membership.

This week was the first time I had explained my absence to someone I knew for sure was fully active and 100% believing. I've heard about some people having bad experiences with former friends when they left the church and so when she immediately asked if she could visit me I wasn't sure how that would go. I said yes because I consider her a friend and because I was happy to give her an opportunity to ask questions if she wanted to.

In the end it was a strange conversation - although she didn't question my decision, and was very tactful in asking about my reasons for leaving, there was a quiet tension in the air. Her opinions on the range of topics we discussed came from such a place of absolute faith that there was really no place for us to meet in the middle. Though I had just explained that I no longer believed the church to be true or have any authority to act for God, she still used quotes from latter-day prophets or recent leaders of the church to make her points and asked me questions I found odd, like whether or not I was still reading the Book of Mormon.

None of it was bad, none of it was accusatory or judgmental. She was actually really nice. It still felt odd and made me realise just how far past the point of no return I am. I no longer wish I could just reverse it all and go back to the Matrix. Well, actually I never wished that (I'm very much a red pill kind of girl), but there was a time when I first realised I no longer believed Joseph Smith and that was painful to me, because I knew in my heart that it was the beginning of the end. Now, an introspective and confusing year or so later, it's just a reality to deal with. Ironically it's the church that taught me to be so uncompromising about truth. I can't pretend I believe and I've realised that being open about it (while still attending) is just a recipe for a sucky church life (no calling, no temple recommend, no realistic chance of a successful romantic relationship with a member, etc). I'm glad I have friends who've been accepting rather than not. I know some people aren't that lucky. I guess we'll see what happens from here on out as more people find out.

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Friday, January 09, 2009

roadtrip by numbers

















5: people actually travelling to Sydney and ready to leave on time

2: people NOT travelling to Sydney yet creatively managing to delay departure by two hours

288: km from Canberra to Sydney

0: good CDs in the car

1: really fun game/conversation/debate about who we would turn gay for (J, Drummer Boy, the feline, amai and me (though reflecting on it now I should have said))

1: collective sigh that ran through the car when Jake Gyllenhaal's name was mentioned in the above.

[1: cool Daniel Craig interview I found while Googling all those links. Also this is funny.]

















20: minutes we spent going the wrong way down Princes Highway. :)

35: metres of sidewalk packed with people who got there and lined up before us.

3: bands playing.

2: bands that rocked.

21: songs on the set list (Dark Come Soon, You Wouldn't Like Me, I Bet It Stung, Walking With A Ghost, Hop A Plane, Living Room, So Jealous, Like O Like H, Give Chase, One Second, I Know I Know I Know, Burn Your Life Down, Knife Going In, Nineteen, Where Does The Good Go, Speak Slow, Call It Off, The Con, Relief, Dancing In The Dark (Springsteen cover), Back In Your Head

22: photos I took during the show

2: songs we were hoping to hear, but didn't.

















8: (I think) scary, paranormal stories told on the way home.

20: minutes of the homeward journey I spent trying to figure out what I would do if a ghost appeared on the road while I was driving and deciding we would all probably just die.

3:30am - time we arrived back in Canberra

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Tuesday, January 06, 2009

today i wrote a character reference

A few months back I mentioned that a friend had moved overseas. Now she finds herself, away from her friends and extended family, facing a divorce and a custody battle. My impression from her emails is that she really did not see this coming. The move was supposed to be a good one - a chance for her husband to return to his birthplace and spend more time with his older children now that he's retired. She was so supportive of this wish of his, and now it's all gone to hell in a handbasket.

So today I found myself trying to capture in a page or so just how wonderful I think this woman is: to write something that will give her support and truthfully tell how loving and capable a parent I believe her to be. It's easy to write in some ways - her kids are lovely and her good parenting is written all over them. But it's also sad that the need to write it exists at all. Anyway, it's done and now I just need to mail it. It's hard to say if it will help, because things like this carry more weight if you can comment on the most recent six months and of course she's been overseas during that time. But the opportunity was given to write it, and it can't hurt to add another character reference to the pile. If nothing else I hope it will give her the support I wish I was there in person to give.

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Friday, June 27, 2008

my timing always sucks

My friend UnpaidMermaid is leaving Australia with her family in a couple of weeks. She was in my writing class this semester and is one of the best friends I've made in Canberra (felt like we would be friends a long time, you know?). I got to hang out with her for a paltry few months and met her kids and husband only three times. Why is it that anyone totally cool that I love hanging out with has to be thousands of miles away. Is the universe just toying with me?

If I finally fall in love again one day I fully expect him to tell me he's booked on a space flight to some planet 13 light years away. :)

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Friday, April 18, 2008

things i've been doing lately

Sooooo, how is everyone? I'm busy and happy-ish. Why? Let's see...

1. Compu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-pu-computer games.

My computer died. I think I mentioned it, yeah? Turned out to be the old ticker, but one heart transplant later it's like a new toy again. In fact the new heart is stronger and the comp's working better than before. Loving it! I also bought me a 2GB flash drive which is proving handy for my new studies...but I'll get to that later.

2. Yep, buh-bye now! :)

Helping people out is a nice thing to do, but sometimes it backfires and you end up with a freeloading sponge in your house. I'm down about $800 in unpaid board and really, really tired of living with someone whose contribution to the household consists mostly of doing his own dishes. The sad thing is that I took him in to help him out (he was my friend's daughter's boyfriend at the time and seemed like a nice enough kid) and though I don't want to become that cynical kind of person who thinks the whole world sucks, this has seriously put me off helping anyone ever again. Bit of an exaggeration of course, but I certainly won't be offering anyone a place to stay anytime soon. He will be gone in a couple of days and I have a homestay student moving in. Can't wait. Be nice to think I'll get the money one day, but I'm not holding my breath.

3. Oi! That's mine!

Remember last year when I won a 42-inch plasma screen TV? A few weeks ago we were burgled and it's gone, gone, gone. Nothing from the police so far. I'm pissed off for sure, but handling it a lot better than if I'd paid for it myself. We actually know who stole it ~ a junkie stranger that the soon-to-be-ex-boarder met through work and let into the house one night when he turned up uninvited, and yes, I'm aware he technically is to blame and should replace the TV, but that isn't going to happen so why stress over it? ~ but because he wandered unaccompanied around our house a few days earlier, we can't prove that any fingerprints they found were from the burglary. We know it was him because the S-T-B-E-B saw him at the local shops wearing his (stolen) shoes and hat.

4. Colour me studious.

This year I signed up for a Graduate Diploma in Professional Writing. I'm really enjoying it. My subjects are Freelance Writing and Introduction to Editing, next semester FW2 and Advanced Editing. Next year I'll study Screenwriting and Writing for Young People and probably take on a screenwriting project. The best thing so far is the constant demand to write. We have major assignments of course, but we also do in-class exercises each week. One big assignment is to write an 800 word piece and read it in class, then answer questions. Two people do that each week, so we have a chance each week to hear and analyse two pieces of writing, which is so interesting. This expectation that we will write each and every week has been great, because I was starting to feel like a fraud to my own goals ~ a writer who never wrote anything. I never seemed to get any ideas. Now I feel like I have a lot to write about.

In fact, I submitted three pieces ~ two poems and a creative non-fiction piece ~ to be considered for an anthology that's published each year of creative writing from students at my university. They get a lot more submissions than they publish, so there has to be some merit to the piece if it's accepted. There's one poem that I think is better than the other two pieces and that's the one I'm hoping will make it in. Anything else is just gravy. I'd post it, but I think that technically counts as publishing and it can't be considered if it's been published. I'll let you know what happens.

5. Making friends and not particularly influencing people.

One nice aspect of doing grad studies is that the class doesn't average out at nineteen years old. Most of the class are around my age or a little younger and I've made some friends. Given that these same people will be in my classes for two years, that's a real bonus. Plus they're even friends who write and are into the Arts. I mean good Lord, next time I want to go to a poetry slam or an improv night, I may actually not need to coax someone into 'trying something new'.

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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

if you've noticed i've been awol...

I just went home for a week. I enacted my plan of not getting in touch with the friends I usually spend all my time with when I'm there. Instead I saw half a dozen other friends that I haven't caught up with in years. Good plan. I also spent a lot more time with my folks.

Great week!

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Monday, May 14, 2007

five days in melbourne

Okay, so Melbourne was mostly great, but it had its downside. You'll see what I mean as I go along. People-wise I spent the first three days staying with a friend and her husband, and spending my time with them and a close friend of theirs who lives in Melbourne. We also saw a lot of my friend's daughter, who moved to Melbourne about six months ago.

First night in I saw Miss Saigon. It's a powerful story, and the production was wonderful, particularly the staging (the sets were great and at one point you would have sworn that a real helicopter landed on the stage and then took off again). I have to admit though that the score was kind of average. The one exception was a really stirring song at the beginning of the second act called "Bui Doi". It's a song about the Amerasian children fathered by GIs during the Vietnam war, children who went on to be pariahs in their own society once the US withdrew. The whole time the song was sung they showed images of these children, including some from the child camps they were put into after the war. Here's a youtube link to the song. Here are the lyrics.

The next day we had lunch at Fifteen, the restaurant that Jamie Oliver set up in Melbourne to offer a career opportunity to troubled youth. The first batch of trainees were part of a television series that showed their personal journeys to become chefs and the setting up of the restaurant itself. Of course there were a few who wasted their opportunity, but I was so impressed with most of them and the way they really turned their lives around that I wanted to visit the restaurant if the chance came. Thirty percent of the profits go back into the foundation to train other young people, too. I like the combination of a casual atmosphere with silver service level dining, and the food was SO GOOD! ( I had the Roasted Berkshire pork with fennel seed and rosemary, Mt Zero lentils, baby chard, crème fraiche and pan juices. Chocolate nemesis (yes Nemesis, apparently there's a dessert named after you) with pistachio biscotti and blood plum. Mmm.)

Later that night we hit the Pink concert. She is so powerful, so bold. Most of the songs were from her latest album, I'm Not Dead, which I like a lot. Unfortunately the concert indirectly led to me having an argument with one of my best friends over Pink's song, "Stupid Girls". She was basically defending the girls the song describes(here's an excellent explanation of the song if you're interested), saying that if all they care about was partying and shopping and being a size 0, that that was their right. I tried for a solid hour to explain that the song is not targeting them individually so much as the superficial culture they represent, and that while it certainly is their right to live as they choose, I'm allowed (and Pink's allowed) to have an opinion about it, especially if I feel their lifestyle is negatively affecting girls who think they are supposed to emulate it. There's nothing wrong with calling something stupid if it IS, especially when that something is influential. I think the most frustrating part was when she argued that "they can't be totally stupid if they're making that kind of money". I hated the fact that I needed to explain to this wonderful friend, right in the middle of a discussion about superficiality, that money alone was hardly a worthy marker of success. There was a time when she wouldn't have needed someone else to tell her that.

And of course having been friends for over twenty years we moved on by the next morning and had brunch at a lovely Italian cafe called Brunnelli's: chicken and asparagus crepe with a Caesar side salad. They also make confections and nougat and ornate cake for big Italian celebrations. It was worth going there just to look around. Restaurants featured heavily in our trip. Fifteen, Brunnelli's, a place on the beach called The Stokehouse, plus a little Thai restaurant and a couple of cafes. I mean just because our hotel room had a kitchen with a microwave didn't mean we were going to cook. And in fairness if you're going to check out restaurants, Melbourne is the place to do it. There's good reason that Jamie Oliver picked Melbourne. Each year there'll be new trainees and he needed a strong restaurant and cafe culture that will provide jobs for them once they've done their year at Fifteen.

Now of course I couldn't be in Melbourne for the tail end of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival without catching at least one show, so we went to see Adam Hills' current show, Joymonger. It was great, so upbeat and positive (hence the name) and very funny. We were in the front row and he talks a LOT with audience people, so I was trying to keep a low profile, haha. We did have a chat with him afterwards. Nice guy. He talked a little in the show about having an artificial right leg, a little bit of trivia about him that I hadn't known. He shared a story about getting his licence renewed...a little adventure in bureaucracy that resulted in his driver's licence now being printed with the licence condition: "Must wear artificial right foot." He said he showed it to an Irish friend once, who gave him a sly smile and said, "Ah, but it doesn't say where." :)

A couple of other photos from the trip ~ a quirky shop name and some fun street art I happened upon.







































The other activity I spent a lot of time on in Sydney was called "avoiding shopping". Don't get me wrong. I did some shopping. I bought a pair of black jeans, I browsed the bookstore, I checked out some homeware stores and I tried samples of Aesop's mandarin-scented hand balm (pricey, but oh so good). And then I was all shopped out. So while my friend went to ten more stores, I saw a movie. The next night we met an old friend I hadn't seen for years, so when they decided they wanted to check out every designer brand store that was open late at the casino complex, I couldn't duck out and do something else. I'm not into the brand label thing. In fact I'm next door to being anti-brand after seeing how it drives many women and girls in Japan. But there I was, for two hours straight, trawling Guess and Gucci and whoever else with them. So you can imagine my glee (not) the next day when she announced that the thing they most wanted to use their last day for was to visit DFO (designer factory outlet). I told them to meet me when they were done, at the Starbucks where I would be reading my book (ironically, The Devil Wears Prada). Good book by the way.

I had two days in Melbourne after they flew home, which were so relaxing. I wandered around St Kilda, sat by the ocean and slipped in another lunch at Fifteen (Grilled Margaret River porterhouse steak with rosemary potatoes, large leaf rocket and eggplant funghetto). I visited a family who recently moved to Melbourne and had a surprisingly lighthearted visit with a friend of my mum's who found out a few months ago that she has an inoperable cancer. She's retired and is using her time now to visit her children and grandchildren. I left them feeling very peaceful and reassured.
And that was Melbourne.

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Saturday, May 12, 2007

random email conversation

chosha: how long have you lived at [current address]? Just doing that security check referee report for Sky.
Rev: 5 years, 10 months
chosha: Thanks. Do you think it'll matter that I mentioned that organised crime ring she ran in the 80s?
Rev: I think it'll be fine. After all, most people ran crime rings in the 80s.

^_^

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