a little east of reality

Friday, March 03, 2006

too much of a good thing

Today sucked and I achieved nothing. But I knew tonight was going to make up for it, because this was the night I'd been waiting for since November...Billy Connelly was in town, and I had seats in the dead centre of the fifth row. Great, huh?! Couldn't possibly be a bad thing to have such fabulous seats to see one of the funniest men on the planet, could it?

/cue Alanis Morrisette/
life has a funny way
of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay
and everything blows up in your face
How could this good fortune be too fortunate, too much of a good thing? Try arriving ten minutes into the show.

Yes, that's right. Due to a weird combination of circumstances, I arrived late to the show, and there was no supporting act. Suddenly those fabulous tickets have me trying to sneak in late, edging along the fifth row, past about nine people, right in front of one of the most caustic comedians in the world. He mimicked my shuffling progress, he made faces. The crowd, including Phi (bastard! ^_~) thought it was hilarious. Me...not so much. Then he quipped:
Ahh it's a hard thing coming in late when there's a bastard like me on the stage!
Well, yes actually. I looked up then in mute apology, and I think my bad day must have been evident in my eyes, because he cut me a break after that and went on with the show. 恥ずかしかったよ。(So embarrassing!)

The good news is that is was an awesome show. He swears like a sailor, I know, and he swaps subjects like a talk show host on speed, but the guy just tells a great story! He told us all about how his wife somehow convinced him to buy a big yacht on which she was living it up off the coast of Queensland (beautiful one day, perfect the next) while he was on tour. On the subject of being lonely without her he said in a voice all forlorn:
I shaved one of my legs last night, just to give myself the feeling of being in bed with a woman...
*LOL* He described scuba diving and seeing a stone fish (stepping on one is said to be the worst pain known to man) and an enormous but non-man-eating shark. I best like his stories of when he was growing up and first started out in show business. He had a rough life in parts, but he tells it with such richness and of course humour that it becomes a wonderful tale that you can't get enough of. He even did a bit on Mormons (though he got all the information wrong)! Good fun all round.

Phi has his biography; the one his wife (Pamela Stephenson) wrote. I must make time to read it.