a little east of reality

Sunday, June 04, 2006

where do these people come from??? part 1

Okay I guess when you advertise for a new boarder you're always going to hear from a few...interesting people. And hey, if I have to deal with these crazies, why shouldn't you?

Exhibit A: Lisa (original formatting, spelling, etc left intact)

I saw your listing concerning the room you have at Australia National University (ANU).I just got addmitted into the univresity [how?] and my sponsor wants to make payment for my accomodation before coming over , and i will really appreciate it if i can get the room from you.Let me know the bills per month [given in the advertisment] and also to know the method of payment you would prefer ....am 23 years old female presently in the uk ..Try to get me the pictures of the room so i can know what it looks like, and kindly tell me little about your self... i will await for your response later today .how is family and friends hope all is well [okay...] try to get back to me asap.hope to hear from you soon.

[That wasn't too bad...a little manic maybe...but here's where it really gets interesting...]

Ok well these is little about me ,I am flirtatious and a thrill-seeker. I am as funny and alluring as ever. I also have a confidence that is very attractive [Did she copy and paste this straight from a Dolly magazine quiz result?] I am the type of person who enjoys having alot of fun and that is so easy going you will love it! My personality is I would say kind of generous and kind. I am 5'7" I am happy, athlectic, adventurous, spontaneous, elegant, and smart. [MySpace profile?] I love to play basketball and i rank it as the neatest game on earth. [Sweet Valley High novel?] I have a great career because of the assets in my inherintance,anyway that is confidential. [Lucky they're confidential, because I'm scared to ask. I just hope it doesn't involve ping pong balls.] I love the movies, concerts, and live music and just reading the paper is so nice.

Please i will love to no u preffered mode of payment.A wire transfer into a saint george bank account will be okay because my sponsor has an account with them.Please tell me what you feel about this and get back to me as soon as possible.I cant wait to be there with because it has always been my dream to futher my education in Australia. Take care and have a nice day.

Um, yeah. You can probably imagine my eagerness to get this girl into my home asap. She's so easy going I will love it!

Or not.

Edit: back and more demanding...hmmm

Hello ,
how are u doing?well am still interested.Wow the rent sounds great and i will love to make payment before coming over.My sponsor will not want me to have any difficulties with accomodation guess u know what i mean.A wire transfer into a st george bank account will be okay cuz my sponsor has an account with them,But if u dont have one u can go set up one.It will be easier for both of us ok so that my sponsor cam make payment into that account at any time.so please help me out on this.
Please could u come pick me up from the airport when i arrive?
tell me what u feel and get back to me ASAP.

Can you spell 'h.i.g.h. .m.a.i.n.t.e.n.a.n.c.e'? I did indeed get back to her ASAP, to tell her that I just decided to house another student. I refrained from adding, "because keeping you and 'your sponsor' happy is not on the top of my priority list this week".

I think I'm pretty fair and generous to the people who board here, but when you tell someone how easy it is to transfer money here (I can transfer to an account at any bank in Australia for free through electronic banking) and their reply is, "no I think it would be easier for 'my sponsor' if you open an account at their bank. Oh and can you pick me up from the airport?" Uh, right...got any dry cleaning you want me to pick while I'm at it? Hell, no.

These girls! I keep wanting to ask when Ashton Kutcher is going to appear.