a little east of reality

Saturday, January 27, 2007


Good gracious, it's been 12 days since I posted. Time is moving too fast for me lately.

Everywhere I turn at the moment there is something to be disappointed about. My supervisor at working is only acting at her level, and last week she found out she didn't get the ongoing position. She's pretty mad, too, because she has over four years experience in the area, knowledge of the relevant legislation, and has been acting successfully in the job for months. Also, the feedback given really doesn't properly explain why she wasn't chosen. There seems to be a general trend in our organisation at the moment to hire from outside rather than promoting people internally. I don't want to believe that's deliberate but it's happening again and again, and last year the situation was quite opposite. I'm disappointed she didn't get it and I'm concerned that we will lose her as a result.

In much more depressing news, yesterday a kid I know was found out for breaking into someone's house and stealing something. He was lucky in that the person sorted it out privately rather than going to the police, but that isn't the point. I feel gutted. Amazing how scary, how upsetting it is, to watch a teenager do something so obviously wrong and realise that you don't really know them at all and that worst of all you really don't have any control over whether they do something like that again. And it's not like he stole something he needed ~ just a worthless 'want'. I try to never assume that anyone is flawless ~ humans are human ~ but I have to honestly say that if someone had asked me if this kid would do this I would have said, 'of course not, no way'. I also just feel so angry. Because the way he is with me is obviously not the way he is otherwise, I feel like he's played me. I love the guy, but I now can't trust him, and my respect for him is draining away. And I hate feeling like that.

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