if only i was a scum-sucking parasite

If I was a lowlife paparazzo (or would that be paparazza because I'm a girl?) willing to lurk outside people's homes or invade their privacy every moment of the day, I'd have it made. Apparently one half decent photo of Jake and Reese together could pay off every cent of debt I have, buy me a new car and an overseas holiday and leave enough change for me to put a deposit on an apartment. Does Photoshop count?

If you happen to have a camera close by, one new couple will earn you the really big bucks.
"Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon are Hollywood's hottest and newest couple and we haven't seen them together yet," says Splash News Online editor, Gary Morgan. "So a picture of these two will guarantee you a six-figure sum."
Morgan has some of his best men (armed with lots of lenses) stationed around the Brentwood/Westwood area where Witherspoon and Gyllenhaal have been working out and eating out.
The Hollywood hotties have apparently been dating for two months, but they are "taking it slow, having meals at home and being cautious," according to a Witherspoon pal.
"The last place you'd ever see them is at The Ivy," says Morgan. "This isn't Posh and Becks. The last thing they want is attention but we are dying to find them and give it to them."
Paparazzi are also perched outside their million-dollar mansions just in case one half of the couple drops by to visit the other.

In case you missed it, I loathe paparazzi. But it gives you a bit of insight into why they do what they do, no?

Oh and did I mention he's hot? I know the subject came up several times in my head while I was trawling Google images breathlessly looking for a photo to add to this post.