a little east of reality

Thursday, November 23, 2006

a movie i won't be seeing

I have an absolute horror of caving. I've been in caves before ~ you know, the big cavernous kind with stalactites hanging from the roof and underground creeks running through them with fish that are blind and stuff like that. No problem. Love them...as long as I'm walking upright and I don't focus too much on the tonnes of dirt and rock above me.

Then there's really truly caving - the kind where you climb down into the earth and scramble down rocks and crawl through claustrophobic spaces, and where extra batteries and a compass might be the difference between getting back to fresh air or not. Me doing this kind of caving?

N.o.t. .a. .s.n.o.w.b.a.l.l.'.s. .c.h.a.n.c.e..i.n. .h.e.l.l.

So forget the fact that after getting trapped underground in an unexplored cave they are going to meet horrible monsters and then discover that maybe the women around them are their real worst enemies ~ I would have had a heart attack long before any of that happened. All I have to do is imagine one thing: coming out of the horror that is a tunnel that narrowed so much that I had to crawl on my belly with my arms stretched out in front of me to make it through, standing up and realising that the only way I can get out...is to do the whole thing over again. When I imagine that scenario [note: the same scenario my spellunking friends refer to as the 'highlight of the trip'] I almost stop breathing.

So no, lest I suffocate on my own stress, no 'Descent' for me.