wednesday wt...?: dude, where's my car?

Man Reports Missing Car, Not Missing Child
Oct 18, 5:45 PM

VALPARAISO, Ind. (AP) - A Michigan City crack addict man called police to report his car missing, but did not mention that his neglected 4-month-old son had been abandoned left inside it, authorities said.

Porter County police officers found the car with the victim boy inside about 11 p.m. Sunday, parked in front of a home the boy would have been better off in a few miles northwest of the public square where the alleged parent should be hung by the neck in Valparaiso. They were called by the home's resident, who found the car with the driver's door open, the child inside, and no one else around.

Officers said the baby's for want of a better word father, William Kersey, 30, called two hours later to report the car missing. Kersey called from a house about a mile and a half from where the car was found. Police said he reported misplacing the car, and did not remember acknowledge leaving his son behind until he couldn't avoid doing so was told officers had found the baby.

Investigators said Kersey told them a bullshit confusing story about eating some strange mushrooms he found on the side of the road, chasing some fellow cult members people into the woods and becoming lost.

There appears to be more to the story than we were able to determine," Porter County police Sgt. Timothy Emmons. "His story seems completely bloody somewhat suspicious." To which this reporter responded, "No shit Sherlock."

Officers arrested Kersey, who was with his surprisingly still alive 4-year-old daughter, on two counts of child neglect and on an outstanding warrant.

Porter County Child Protective Services took custody of both children. Kersey was being held Tuesday in the Porter County Jail without bond. It is hoped that the other inmates will give him a good beating while he's there. Just to jog his memory.