a little east of reality

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

frank abagnale's word on real men & cheating

In an address at a business expo in March, Frank Abagnale (played by DiCaprio in the film Catch Me If You Can) talked about his life and how it was his wife and children who really turned his life around - not prison or finding Christianity.

I really liked the end of the article:

After all the pain he went through – most of which was self-inflicted – Abagnale said he felt “very fortunate” that he was able to turn his life around.

“To every man in this room…I would remind you what it is to be a man,” Abagnale said. “It has nothing to do with money, achievements, skills, accomplishments, education, awards, rewards…A real man loves his wife. A real man is faithful to his wife. And a real man, next to God and his country, puts his wife and his children as the most important things in his life.”

You know, I've heard guys mock other guys who like spending time with their wife, or who stay faithful to them. They tell them they're 'under the thumb', like it's a bad thing to be loyal and loving. It's so cool when a guy just says point blank, "no way am I cheating on my wife!" My dad is an entertaining type, always looking to enthrall someone with a story or make them laugh, but this is one thing he never jokes about. When someone talks about cheating he just tells them, "not me, man; not when I have the best woman in the world at home". I've always appreciated that.

It reminds me of the exchange between Karen and Harry in Love Actually.

Karen: Tell me, what you'd do in my position?
Harry: What position is that?
Karen: Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace and come Christmas gave it to somebody else...
Harry: Oh, Karen...
Karen: Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if worst of all it's a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run?
Harry: Oh, God. I am so in the wrong. The classic fool.
Karen: [voice breaking] Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me, and you've made the life I lead foolish too.

There's nothing manly about making your wife (girlfriend, partner) look and feel like a fool for loving you.