finding the one

"There is no chance at all. We are all trapped by a singular fate. No one ever finds the one." Charles Bukowski

So Baps came to stay this weekend as planned. She is a person who talks a lot and fast, and I tend to be silent in my empty house, so I wondered how that would go. What happened is that she was quite calm and relaxed and I talked way too much. Is that my sometimes loneliness manifesting itself? Perhaps. I hope she didn't find it too overwhelming. She is looking very well and as gorgeous as ever...one of the few people I know who makes fashion look effortless.

We talked a lot about her life over the last two years or so. She has once again run away from a situation fraught with issues and difficult to face. Though I mean this literally, I also saw a similar metaphorical pattern emerging as we talked. I did find myself questioning (out loud) not only some of her recent decisions, but also (in my mind) her determination to see those decisions as good or reasonable, even with the benefit of hindsight. And even when it seems at odds with her own belief system. It was difficult. I think a friend should be honest with you, and I was, but I also think that a friend cannot make your decisions either. It's her life, and her choices don't always have to make sense to me. I guess I just felt the need to double-check that they made sense to her.

What is perhaps most odd, however, is that she has run straight into the arms of a guy who may very well be the best person for her. Their similarities help them understand each other, and their differences allow them to provide something the other needs. And they laugh a lot. I have to wait two more weeks to see them together, but my gut instinct is that this is a good place for her to be.

God bless dumb luck. After all, this was pretty much what happened with Sky - right when she was most vulnerable to meeting mr wrong, she walked straight into a friendship that became the relationship of her life with a guy that was so perfect for her it was difficult not to use the words, 'the one'.

Ahh, the ONE. Matrix allusions aside, I'm not sure what I think about that idea. I know I don't believe there is just one person we can be truly happy with, but it is the tangential ideas that have me pondering. Does God sometimes direct us to one who's right for us? Or do we all get the chance to meet some 'one' and just not all realise it, or act on it? And how about that theory that you never meet someone when you're looking for them...kind of casts a shadow on computer dating services, doesn't it?

Tetchan passed on an interesting idea (which hopefully she'll help me source later) that there is a certain percentage of the population that we are compatible with, but most of us don't have a social circle wide enough to meet more than one or two who are these potential soulmates. So while there may be many soulmates out there, in our own circle there really might be just 'one' of those.

Or none. *sigh*